What do parents buy to fill their empty nest?

Whenever a film or TV series shows a teenager or twenty-something leaving home, the story usually centres on the person leaving. But what does it look like from the parents’ perspective?

“When my children left home, I replaced them with sheep,” says Rosie. “It was horrible – a real empty nest. Then I saw an ad from someone I knew for two Valley Blacknose sheep. So I added to our menagerie – we also have ducks, chickens, a dog and a rescue budgie.”

Revving up an old hobby

Turns out, Rosie isn’t the only one who’s made an unexpected purchase to fill her empty nest. “I used to drive motorbikes when I was younger, then I grew up,” says Justin. “The moment you have a family, it doesn’t seem like the right thing to do – I thought I’d be setting a really bad example.

“But then last year, I signed up to go on a motorbike trip with friends around Rajasthan in India. I hadn’t been on a bike in 25 years. When I got back, I kept looking for secondhand bikes online. My youngest, Joe, was just about to go off on his travels – setting a good example no longer felt like a good enough reason to deprive myself!”

Then: he found the one. “I went to view it and bought it on the spot. I spent the next six months driving around Somerset filled with joy. I’ve since got a bigger bike and sold the original one to a friend. My current one is a glorious, touring cruising bike. It came with a pretty hefty price tag – £10,000 – but it’s worth every penny.”

Buying a camper van: “the best thing we ever did”

They say ‘travel is the only thing you can buy that makes you richer,’ which is definitely the case for Justin, and for Jackie, another empty nester who ticked off a bucket list goal. “We’d thought about getting a camper van for a long time,” says Jackie, 60. 

“Our original plan was to get one when our three kids had left home and we had retired. But that was when the retirement age was 60. Now, I can’t get my pension until I’m 67. So when friends told us they were selling their van, it felt like it dropped in our lap. We paid £17,000 for it – the most we’d ever spent on anything really. It’s the best thing we ever did.”

So far, Jackie and her husband have been to the Peak District, Cornwall, the Lake District, Wales and Scotland. “The only thing we’ve changed about the van is the awning. In camper van sites, they call the awning ‘a divorce in a bag’ because they can be so difficult to put up! We’ve bought one that’s simpler to use.”

Less on groceries, more on games

One change that lots of parents notice when their children leave home is how much less they spend on groceries. “I have no idea what that money goes on now – probably on holidays and visiting our kids,” says Karien. “We don’t go out for more meals than before but we always go out when we visit the boys, and of course mum and dad always pay - gladly!

“Although that will probably change over time. When you’re drawing a pension your income becomes vastly reduced, and everyone has to get used to the fact that the next generation are now the ones with the salaries.”

Karien and her husband Paul spend many of their evenings together at home, playing a board game or two. “Our favourite game is Settlers of Catan, which we play with friends,” says Karien, 60. “And I like Dominion, which you can play with two people. We’ve bought lots of extension packs for it – and buy new ones as they come out. They’re about £40 each, so we’ve spent a small fortune! We’ve also had bespoke trays made in Holland to hold the cards. We now just play with the two of us and love it.”

However you fill your empty nest, whether that’s with pets, trips, or board games, “you have to face up to it,” says Justin. “I’d be much more worried if our children weren’t keen to spread their wings and start exploring the world. Flying the nest is recognition of having done our job well.”