For What It’s Worth
“My parents are in a lot of debt. I had no idea.”
![Illustration of a man falling through a hole with his parents looking on](/images/916x611/cd9c62ca58/preview_compressed_noteworthyfwiw-parents.jpg)
Last year, I’d almost reached my savings goal – just under enough to buy a flat. I was close, but I needed a little extra.
I’ve always saved and being self-employed meant I’d had some pretty meaty, well-paid projects over the years. And I’d been able to put a good chunk away during the pandemic.
I’d never spoken to my parents (divorced) about whether they could help me financially. I always assumed that they couldn’t. I didn’t think there was any point in asking.
I found a flat I wanted and decided to broach the subject, just in case. I asked both of them separately if they could contribute. Even if it was just a bit to help with furniture.
Turns out neither of my parents have any savings and are in a lot of debt. My dad said he could send me £60. I was totally shocked as I always saw them as a safety net.
In the end, another (distant, older) relative was able to help. I bought my flat. But I feel the pressure now more than ever to be financially independent.
Now I know my parents couldn’t help me if something went wrong, it’s terrifying. But maybe that’s just a part of growing up!
Perhaps it was naive of me and I shouldn’t expect them to help. But most of my friends get support from their parents.
We grow up believing parents are secure, save-the-day heroes. But that’s just not the case for everyone. It’s been a hard thing to come to terms with.
Support for people in debt
If you're struggling to pay back money you owe someone or pay off your overdraft or a loan, remember that you're not alone. In 2023, the Money & Pensions Service reported that 8.1 million UK adults needed debt advice, equivalent to 15% of the UK population.
There are lots of organisations and charities you can reach out to for free, impartial advice and support.
For example:
Citizens Advice (also provides guidance on benefits, work and legal problems)
At Starling, we have a specialist team that can guide customers with money worries towards free and independent specialist advice. You can reach out to us by picking up the phone or by sending an email.
Support with money worries