“My parents are in a lot of debt. I had no idea.”

Last year, I’d almost reached my savings goal – just under enough to buy a flat. I was close, but I needed a little extra. 

I’ve always saved and being self-employed meant I’d had some pretty meaty, well-paid projects over the years. And I’d been able to put a good chunk away during the pandemic. 

I’d never spoken to my parents (divorced) about whether they could help me financially. I always assumed that they couldn’t. I didn’t think there was any point in asking. 

I found a flat I wanted and decided to broach the subject, just in case. I asked both of them separately if they could contribute. Even if it was just a bit to help with furniture. 

Turns out neither of my parents have any savings and are in a lot of debt. My dad said he could send me £60. I was totally shocked as I always saw them as a safety net.

In the end, another (distant, older) relative was able to help. I bought my flat. But I feel the pressure now more than ever to be financially independent. 

Now I know my parents couldn’t help me if something went wrong, it’s terrifying. But maybe that’s just a part of growing up! 

Perhaps it was naive of me and I shouldn’t expect them to help. But most of my friends get support from their parents. 

We grow up believing parents are secure, save-the-day heroes. But that’s just not the case for everyone. It’s been a hard thing to come to terms with. 

Support for people in debt

If you're struggling to pay back money you owe someone or pay off your overdraft or a loan, remember that you're not alone. In 2023, the Money & Pensions Service reported that 8.1 million UK adults needed debt advice, equivalent to 15% of the UK population. 

There are lots of organisations and charities you can reach out to for free, impartial advice and support.

For example:

• StepChange

• Debt Advice Foundation 

• Money Advice Trust 

• Citizens Advice (also provides guidance on benefits, work and legal problems)