“We’d never even discussed our salaries.”

Hi, I’m Lucy and I genuinely never thought I’d be in a serious enough relationship to ever warrant a joint account. 

Yet here I am. I met my now boyfriend Charlie last spring. By autumn, we were official. By the new year, we’d made plans to move in together. 

He’s my perfect match. After many years of dating, dodgy situationships and singledom, I can say pretty confidently that my future lies with Charlie.

Naturally, as our lives became more entangled, the tricky topic of money started to creep its way into our conversations. 

I say tricky because, to me, money is a really private topic and I have always been a firmly closed book on the financial front. What I earn, save and invest is kept close to my chest and I never discussed it with anyone. Including Charlie. 

He has a similar mentality regarding money, which means we’ve never discussed salaries. I know, I know…

Here’s how we got on:

Week 1: “Argh! I’m living with a boy!”

Packing up everything you own and relocating is always more stressful than you imagine. Luckily, setting up a Starling joint account was a doddle. I already have a business account with Starling, which I love, so getting a joint account felt like a no-brainer. 

We were even invited to personalise our joint account with a photo – cute. 

After we each transferred £500 into the account, we got spending. The first purchase? Huge cardboard boxes and bags to pack up my extensive shoe, handbag and hoodie collection. Not the most thrilling thing to buy, but necessary. 

Once we were in, it quickly became evident that there were some necessary household items that we needed.

A £6 loaf tin to bake with (because banana bread is life), an overpriced £25 fridge storage box, a £2 pastry brush and a £5 corkscrew (because wine, duh), among other things. 

It was at this point that I realised our relationship had gone from fun, young and reckless to sophisticated, responsible and mature. 

And I wouldn't change a thing.

Week 2: What’s the deal with goujons?

During our first week of living together, the majority of our possessions were in boxes, bubble wrap and bags.

But by week two, it was time to get organised. As chief food planner (and aspiring chef), I took the lead on our trip to Sainbury’s to stock up the cupboards. 

I am a sucker for a supermarket 2-for-1 bargain and I like to think of myself as a pretty savvy spender when I hit the aisles. But knowing that this shop was coming out of our joint account made me even more aware of how much we were spending. Because rather than it just being my money, it was Charlie’s too. 

To me, a joint account isn’t just a convenience thing – it also symbolises a deeper level of trust and commitment.

But, as with all relationships, there needs to be a level of compromise. And in this instance, I had to turn a blind eye to Charlie’s obsession with chicken goujons and those awful mochi ice-cream-ball-things. Prior to the joint account, he would buy these himself, but now, we were both footing the bill for his deep-fried chicken addiction. I won’t complain, however, as he’s now also contributing to my love of flavoured coffee and frozen berries.

Week 3: Our big announcement

It only took two weeks for us to decide that we were ready to start a family. Well, a fur family. So we bought a hamster – and named him Wilson.

It made sense to use the joint account for all Wilson-related purchases, including his cage, hay and dry food.

However, just a few days into our journey of being hamster parents, it became clear how much attention I was giving Wilson. And also, how much I was prepared to splurge on him. 

I couldn't help it. Like a moth to a flame, a marketer’s dream, I fell for various ads on Instagram, showcasing adorable hamsters in jumpers and hats. I ended up trawling through websites, browsing all sorts of hamster ‘essentials’. A £7 playpen? Sure! A £14 see-saw and swing? Yup, add to basket. A mini hoodie and flower hat for a bargain of £1.50? Go on then!

Every purchase made on the joint account does trigger a phone notification from the Starling app, so Charlie was made aware of every spend. Whoops.

Week 4: “You spent how much on towels?” (and more goujons)

Nothing annoys me about Charlie. And I’m hoping the feeling is mutual. But this week tested our limits.

When Charlie suggested we get our bed linen dry cleaned weekly for £30, like we’re some kind of royalty, I laughed. Bedding? Dry cleaned? Weekly? That’s just an expense we don’t need. But then when I decided we needed an extra set of egyptian cotton towels and a £125 moisture-absorbing bath mat (again, Instagram ads got the better of me), I was met with a look that said ‘don’t even bother, Lucy’. So, there are times when it’s best to use personal accounts over joint.

Also this week: our joint account forced us to cut back on things we didn’t need. It’s not a credit card and, because we manually top it up, we’re aware when the balance is low, which is only a good thing.

For example: on Sunday, the money in our account didn’t quite cover our weekly supermarket shop. It’s simple to move money into the joint account, but amid that frantic self-checkout panic, we decided to remove several ‘unnecessary’ items, including my beloved bag of frozen berries, to bring the cost down.

The obvious choice to me would have been to ditch the freakin’ chicken goujons – but the boy needs his goujons. Essentially, this made us stop and analyse our spending. What do we need? And what can we do without?

My verdict?

Honestly, I was sceptical about opening a joint account. In my mind, romantic date nights and spontaneous gifts would become a thing of the past as our spending would all come from one central pot. But this past month has proved me wrong.

We use the account solely for what we agreed at the start – and everything else is discretionary. 

Having a joint account has made me finally relax about the money topic; I feel ready to open up the conversation about salaries and savings. And I also trust Charlie even more. Now, it’s a relief when we’re shopping that we can avoid that awkward ‘who’s paying for this?’ moment; it’s an account we both contribute towards.

So all in all, a joint account has really benefited us and our relationship. It’s something we’ll certainly continue to use. Perhaps another hamster could be on the cards?