Family
What do parents buy to fill their empty nest?
By Charlotte Lorimer
For What It’s Worth
“I went freelance to save on childcare costs.”
I want to be a hands-on dad and work flexibly, but having an unreliable income is really tough.
10th October 2024
When my partner’s maternity leave ended, I went freelance and became the primary parent. Our child is in school now, so I work school hours to save us needing childcare.
I earn less than I could be earning, but parenting is my focus at the moment. As long as I can pay my half of the mortgage and bills, I’d rather concentrate on being the best dad that I can be.
We know we’re only going to have one kid, so this is my only chance to spend valuable time parenting. Soon enough I’ll be needed far less. There’ll always be work, but she won’t always need someone to take her to the park.
For now, the tricky thing is how irregular and unreliable my income is. When my daughter is ill and has to miss school, it costs me a fortune in lost earnings and I have to work at night.
The situation sometimes causes a bit of pressure in my relationship, where my partner and I both occasionally feel like we’re working to capacity for little recognition.
In her mind, she’s working herself to the bone while I play board games with our daughter and have a lovely time. Whereas I sometimes feel like the hard work of parenting and the money I’m saving us in after-school care gets ignored.
It’s hard to work out how much I’d be making if I worked ‘traditional’ hours. But if I were, our child would need childcare before and after school, which would come to about £500 a month.
While I love the time I get to spend with my daughter, I worry that the ages of 35-45 are the most financially impactful decade of most people’s lives. By choosing to slow down, am I making the future more difficult for my family and I?
I think earning less to be with my kid is worth it. I’m aware that even having that choice makes me very lucky. But sometimes, when it’s been a rough month and I haven’t earned as much as I’d like, I question the choices I’ve made.
Illustration credit: Emanuel Santos
How much does after-school childcare cost?
If both parents work 9am-5pm, they will typically need someone to help look after their child/children after they finish school at around 3pm. Here’s the 2024 data from Coram, a national family and childcare charity. It shows the average cost of after-school clubs for 5-11 year olds during term time (39 weeks). Northern Ireland is not included in their data because it has a different childcare funding system to England, Scotland and Wales.
| Country | Average cost of after-school club per week |
|---|---|
| England | £69.22 |
| Scotland | £67.27 |
| Wales | £68.89 |
| Average for England, Scotland and Wales | £69.14 |
This means that on average, British parents are paying around £300 a month or almost £3,600 a year for after-school childcare for one child aged 5-11. This doesn’t include the cost of childcare before school starts, for example through a breakfast club.
The most expensive after-school childcare is in inner London, where the average weekly cost is £122.93, almost double the national average. The cheapest after-school clubs are in the South West of England with an average of £57.93, but even that works out at around £250 a month.
You can find out what help you could get with childcare costs by using the government’s free calculator.
Looking to manage your money as a family?
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